no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
