I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
