nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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