I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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