dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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