ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
