Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
