Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How's work?
Spinning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
