I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
tell me about the fingering
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
