Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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