escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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