I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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