There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
