dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize