Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
