so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
