is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
