M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
