Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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