I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
