yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
