I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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