I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
