FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize