Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
