She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
