Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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