Having a random hookup so left but love u
I want to stick my p in your. b.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
