Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
