yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will pee on everything he values.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
