i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
