im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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