No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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