we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We're too hungover to prance.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
