phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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