you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
