i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
