I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
