You can't motorboat a personality
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
