Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize