There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
