you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
