It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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