If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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