i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize