So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Fuck appropriateness.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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