my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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