I don't think brook has ever known best
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
