You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
