in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize