I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
