that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
