is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
