doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
