So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
