Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize