weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
