Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
