Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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