She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
