At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
