He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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