mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
