She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
did i walk over a car last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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