its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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