i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
