But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
